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Continuation...
Mar. 18th, 2004 06:42 pmIt's been a very long last couple of weeks, in more way than one- it's been a lot of long hours at work getting ready for the upcoming rush of underway time this spring, as well as slowly getting used to having Kevin back here at the house after the Enterprise's return from deployment (more about him in a future entry....)
On top of that, there's been the ongoing saga with Suzie- as much as I hate to admit it, I'd been thinking a lot about her, but on the advice of several of my close friends, I didn't call, waiting instead for her to call me when she was ready. I actually talked to her best friend, Sandra, this past weekend, and left a message with her to give to Suzie- basically I told her that I know she gets freaked out by the whole commitment thing, and I don't want to pressure her at all, but when she's ready to talk, she knows how to get a hold of me. No problem, I figured I'd get a message from her when she got home for Spring Break in a couple of weeks.... I could wait, and it would do me some good most likely, too....
I got home from being on duty and another long day at work about an hour ago, and on a fluke, just decided to check and see if she'd written anything else in her journal. Imagine my surprise when I saw one section entitled, "Ted- I'm sorry." I continued reading on, and it cleared up a lot of things for me-
She told me about how bad she felt about the whole thing, and mentioned again about how she wasn't really ready for this- understandable considering I'm moving to San Diego in a few months. She explained about the phone- it did in fact cut out, and for some reason when I called back, my phone was acting up- not the first time, by far. She also reminded me of the fact that she didn't kiss me at all the last day I was there- which is true, now that I think about it. Needless to say, I feel much better about the whole thing- though I do feel bad for making her feel bad about it. I should have known better, and I do feel bad about trying to rush things, even though I really wasn't trying to- call it force of habit; she's an incredible girl, and I still consider myself lucky to have met her and have her in my life. I still like her a LOT, probably more than I should, but I really can't help it- I hope when the time comes, we'll be able to work something out- when she's ready.
Of course, this brings up the obvious question of "what now?", and honestly I have no clue what's next. I really enjoy talking to her and spending time with her, aside from the sex part, and I hope I can see her again before I leave, but the ball's in her court now, so we'll see....hopefully we'll get a chance to talk more very soon. We have a lot to talk about, and I have a lot to apologize for. I don't know yet if this is it, or what, but we'll see.... either way, I've been lucky. Suzie, when you see this, call me or email me- you know how to geta hold of me.
Well, that's all for now- I have a lot to think about and a lot of re- evaluating to do right now.... I'll be around, and thanks to all of you who were nice enough to comment to my previous posts- it meant a lot.
Till next time.
On top of that, there's been the ongoing saga with Suzie- as much as I hate to admit it, I'd been thinking a lot about her, but on the advice of several of my close friends, I didn't call, waiting instead for her to call me when she was ready. I actually talked to her best friend, Sandra, this past weekend, and left a message with her to give to Suzie- basically I told her that I know she gets freaked out by the whole commitment thing, and I don't want to pressure her at all, but when she's ready to talk, she knows how to get a hold of me. No problem, I figured I'd get a message from her when she got home for Spring Break in a couple of weeks.... I could wait, and it would do me some good most likely, too....
I got home from being on duty and another long day at work about an hour ago, and on a fluke, just decided to check and see if she'd written anything else in her journal. Imagine my surprise when I saw one section entitled, "Ted- I'm sorry." I continued reading on, and it cleared up a lot of things for me-
She told me about how bad she felt about the whole thing, and mentioned again about how she wasn't really ready for this- understandable considering I'm moving to San Diego in a few months. She explained about the phone- it did in fact cut out, and for some reason when I called back, my phone was acting up- not the first time, by far. She also reminded me of the fact that she didn't kiss me at all the last day I was there- which is true, now that I think about it. Needless to say, I feel much better about the whole thing- though I do feel bad for making her feel bad about it. I should have known better, and I do feel bad about trying to rush things, even though I really wasn't trying to- call it force of habit; she's an incredible girl, and I still consider myself lucky to have met her and have her in my life. I still like her a LOT, probably more than I should, but I really can't help it- I hope when the time comes, we'll be able to work something out- when she's ready.
Of course, this brings up the obvious question of "what now?", and honestly I have no clue what's next. I really enjoy talking to her and spending time with her, aside from the sex part, and I hope I can see her again before I leave, but the ball's in her court now, so we'll see....hopefully we'll get a chance to talk more very soon. We have a lot to talk about, and I have a lot to apologize for. I don't know yet if this is it, or what, but we'll see.... either way, I've been lucky. Suzie, when you see this, call me or email me- you know how to geta hold of me.
Well, that's all for now- I have a lot to think about and a lot of re- evaluating to do right now.... I'll be around, and thanks to all of you who were nice enough to comment to my previous posts- it meant a lot.
Till next time.
