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In the Words of Paul Harvey...
May. 25th, 2006 11:03 pm"...and here's the rest of the story..."
So after my first day in the surreal lifestyle of a Navy recruiter, I got a call from Amy as I fought my way down the 5 through Leucadia and Solana Beach. ( I think...)
We made small talk for a little while, asking how my day was, telling me how her day was, etc. She was preoccupied, and I could tell she still had a lot on her mind. Finally, she sighed and came out with it.
"Teddy, I'm sorry for last night."
That caught me off guard. "Which part?"
"Well, everything we talked about..." she started hesitantly.
"Ah..." I replied. "But did you mean what you said?"
"Well...I... I don't really know..."
I nodded to myself, the tone of her voice telling me volumes more than the words she was speaking. I thought for a moment, deciding on my choice of words carefully before I responded.
"I understand that you're really confused right now, that you've got a lot on your mind, and this is going to take some time to sort out. And as I've told you before, I'm here for you, as a friend, no, as a best friend...and you know I'll wait for you as long as I need to so you can sort this all out, ok?"
There was a long pause on the other end.
"Why are you being like this? It's like you're rolling over about us."
Hmmm. Not how I meant my actions and words to come off.
"Maybe it's because I'm the eternal optimist, maybe it's because I'm almost completely certain we can work through this... look Amy, I know this is your decision- you know how I feel and what I think- and I also know that if I were to go and make a big, emotional scene about the whole thing it wouldn't do either one of us any good, right? You deserve better than that, and the last thing I want to do is manipulate you, or make you feel like I'm trying to manipulate you in any way. Does that make sense at all?"
There was another long pause on the other end.
"Yes it does...and thank you," she replied in that small, quiet voice she usually speaks in during our closest, most intimate moments. "You've been so much more than fair about all of this... and I love you so much...I...I don't know."
"I understand," I replied, feeling the corners of my mouth turning upwards slightly as I spoke. I knew she could sense my smile through the phone. "I'll wait as long as I have to, and I'll make sure this works out- because I love you, and that's enough for me."
"I love you too, Bear." She replied in that voice again, using her favorite pet name for me.
We continued talking as I made my way down Grand and finally pulled into my alley, even toying with the idea of me going over to her place and staying the night (even though it was close to 9 by this point), and I told her I'd call her back after I got out of the shower.
We talked again about half an hour later, and as I expected, she was pretty much ready to crash- hard. She apologized for being so tired, and I of course let her know that I understand, that I was feeling a bit of the same- after all, I'd driven 160 miles to get to and from work- but I'd be her's all weekend.
At which point she told me the other thing that was bothering her- her boss apparently has some business trip to Arizona planned for the very near future- as in, possibly over this weekend.
By this point in the conversation I was ready to smack her boss across the back of the head. Very, very hard. I mean, seriously- she had everybody drive up to Los Angeles for a conference this past Saturday, and now she wants to go and try to make business contacts over Memorial Day Weekend???? Just because she doesn't have a life really doesn't mean she can expect that of the rest of her office if she wants to keep her people- part of the many reasons that I suspect are at the heart of the extremely high turnover rate at Amy's office. Besides, Amy's totally exhausted and needs this weekend to recouperate and regain a lot of the strength she's expended the last few weeks trying to build and train her team. Who the fuck does this woman think she is, seriously??
But, I digress- that's a whole different story.
I reminded Amy of the fact that she's been going pretty much nonstop since I got back in town, and is WAY overdue for some time off, which she agreed with me about, and expressed her own annoyance that this was sprung on them at the last minute. I told her about what I had planned to do with her over the weekend- when I was checking in to the recruiting district headquarters this past week, I had to run up to the Personnel office on the Sub base at Point Loma a couple of times- and was immediately astounded by the view as I drove up there- the Personnel office is perched on the very top of Point Loma itself, with the harbor, downtown San Diego, and Coronado all the way down to the Silver Strand visible on one side, and the clearest, most panoramic view of the Pacific I've ever seen this side of the flight deck of the Reagan. I figured it would beat Sunset Cliffs for a springtime sunset picnic one evening this weekend.
I could tell Amy was totally interested in doing it as I told her about my plan, and I could tell that the old eagerness and life that I've always loved about her was starting to return to her voice as we talked for a bit longer before she went to sleep.
Finally, I told her that it was really past her bedtime, and she really needed to get some rest.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow, sweetheart. Have a good night, my love."
She let out a contented purr, and I could tell she'd just laid down to go to bed. "You too, honey...and it's wierd...I kind of want some time alone, but...I miss you..."
"I know...and I miss you...I miss the feeling of you being in my arms as you fall asleep..."
"Me too....I love you so much...."
"And I love you too, Amy. Get some sleep, and we'll talk more tomorrow. And like I said, take as much time as you need."
"Thank you..." she said one more time before we finally hung up.
There's still a lot of confusion on the parts of both of us, and we've both got a lot to think and talk about, so it's still anybody's guess at this point what's going to happen.
But a guy can hope.
So after my first day in the surreal lifestyle of a Navy recruiter, I got a call from Amy as I fought my way down the 5 through Leucadia and Solana Beach. ( I think...)
We made small talk for a little while, asking how my day was, telling me how her day was, etc. She was preoccupied, and I could tell she still had a lot on her mind. Finally, she sighed and came out with it.
"Teddy, I'm sorry for last night."
That caught me off guard. "Which part?"
"Well, everything we talked about..." she started hesitantly.
"Ah..." I replied. "But did you mean what you said?"
"Well...I... I don't really know..."
I nodded to myself, the tone of her voice telling me volumes more than the words she was speaking. I thought for a moment, deciding on my choice of words carefully before I responded.
"I understand that you're really confused right now, that you've got a lot on your mind, and this is going to take some time to sort out. And as I've told you before, I'm here for you, as a friend, no, as a best friend...and you know I'll wait for you as long as I need to so you can sort this all out, ok?"
There was a long pause on the other end.
"Why are you being like this? It's like you're rolling over about us."
Hmmm. Not how I meant my actions and words to come off.
"Maybe it's because I'm the eternal optimist, maybe it's because I'm almost completely certain we can work through this... look Amy, I know this is your decision- you know how I feel and what I think- and I also know that if I were to go and make a big, emotional scene about the whole thing it wouldn't do either one of us any good, right? You deserve better than that, and the last thing I want to do is manipulate you, or make you feel like I'm trying to manipulate you in any way. Does that make sense at all?"
There was another long pause on the other end.
"Yes it does...and thank you," she replied in that small, quiet voice she usually speaks in during our closest, most intimate moments. "You've been so much more than fair about all of this... and I love you so much...I...I don't know."
"I understand," I replied, feeling the corners of my mouth turning upwards slightly as I spoke. I knew she could sense my smile through the phone. "I'll wait as long as I have to, and I'll make sure this works out- because I love you, and that's enough for me."
"I love you too, Bear." She replied in that voice again, using her favorite pet name for me.
We continued talking as I made my way down Grand and finally pulled into my alley, even toying with the idea of me going over to her place and staying the night (even though it was close to 9 by this point), and I told her I'd call her back after I got out of the shower.
We talked again about half an hour later, and as I expected, she was pretty much ready to crash- hard. She apologized for being so tired, and I of course let her know that I understand, that I was feeling a bit of the same- after all, I'd driven 160 miles to get to and from work- but I'd be her's all weekend.
At which point she told me the other thing that was bothering her- her boss apparently has some business trip to Arizona planned for the very near future- as in, possibly over this weekend.
By this point in the conversation I was ready to smack her boss across the back of the head. Very, very hard. I mean, seriously- she had everybody drive up to Los Angeles for a conference this past Saturday, and now she wants to go and try to make business contacts over Memorial Day Weekend???? Just because she doesn't have a life really doesn't mean she can expect that of the rest of her office if she wants to keep her people- part of the many reasons that I suspect are at the heart of the extremely high turnover rate at Amy's office. Besides, Amy's totally exhausted and needs this weekend to recouperate and regain a lot of the strength she's expended the last few weeks trying to build and train her team. Who the fuck does this woman think she is, seriously??
But, I digress- that's a whole different story.
I reminded Amy of the fact that she's been going pretty much nonstop since I got back in town, and is WAY overdue for some time off, which she agreed with me about, and expressed her own annoyance that this was sprung on them at the last minute. I told her about what I had planned to do with her over the weekend- when I was checking in to the recruiting district headquarters this past week, I had to run up to the Personnel office on the Sub base at Point Loma a couple of times- and was immediately astounded by the view as I drove up there- the Personnel office is perched on the very top of Point Loma itself, with the harbor, downtown San Diego, and Coronado all the way down to the Silver Strand visible on one side, and the clearest, most panoramic view of the Pacific I've ever seen this side of the flight deck of the Reagan. I figured it would beat Sunset Cliffs for a springtime sunset picnic one evening this weekend.
I could tell Amy was totally interested in doing it as I told her about my plan, and I could tell that the old eagerness and life that I've always loved about her was starting to return to her voice as we talked for a bit longer before she went to sleep.
Finally, I told her that it was really past her bedtime, and she really needed to get some rest.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow, sweetheart. Have a good night, my love."
She let out a contented purr, and I could tell she'd just laid down to go to bed. "You too, honey...and it's wierd...I kind of want some time alone, but...I miss you..."
"I know...and I miss you...I miss the feeling of you being in my arms as you fall asleep..."
"Me too....I love you so much...."
"And I love you too, Amy. Get some sleep, and we'll talk more tomorrow. And like I said, take as much time as you need."
"Thank you..." she said one more time before we finally hung up.
There's still a lot of confusion on the parts of both of us, and we've both got a lot to think and talk about, so it's still anybody's guess at this point what's going to happen.
But a guy can hope.
